What Life Looks Like When You Cannot Say a Word

What does your world become when you have thoughts, needs, desires, opinions — but no way to express them?

This question sat quietly at the center of my conversation with Elżbieta Dawidek, a speech therapist, researcher, and one of Poland’s leading specialists in AAC (augmentative and alternative communication). Ela spends her days doing something that sounds simple but is, in practice, revolutionary:

She gives people a way to communicate when their own bodies won’t.

And once you understand the world she works in, you can’t unsee it.

A Life Full of Thoughts… With No Way to Share Them

Ela told me something that hasn’t left my mind:

“People who don’t speak are one of the most isolated groups in society.”

Not because they want to be — but because the world around them isn’t built for them.

Some were born without the ability to speak. Others lost it after accidents or illness. Many have full cognitive abilities, humor, opinions, dreams — but no tool to express any of it.

Imagine being thirsty and unable to say “water.” Imagine wanting privacy and being unable to say “stop.” Imagine having a favorite food but being offered only what someone else chooses for you.

That’s not just frustration. That’s a life without agency.

When Aggression Becomes a Language

One of the most striking things Ela said was that aggression in non-speaking children or adults is often misunderstood:

“It’s the only way their body can say: ‘I don’t want this.’ ‘I’m scared.’ ‘I’m in pain.’ ‘Please stop.’”

When you hear it that way, the behavior looks different.

It’s not “difficult.”It’s “desperate.”

And when a person finally receives a communication system — sometimes a simple board with pictures, sometimes a high-tech tablet — everything changes. Stress decreases. Anxiety drops. Conflicts fade.

As Ela put it:

“The moment someone can finally express themselves, the whole world softens.”

The First Time a Child ‘Says’ Something - AAC

Parents who come to Ela often spent years guessing what their child needs.

They fed them when they didn’t want food.They dressed them when they wanted rest.They took them to countless therapies without ever hearing the simplest request:

“I want this.”“No more.”“Mama.”

Ela shared stories of parents crying during sessions when a child, for the very first time, presses a symbol meaning “play,” “home,” or “mom.”

Imagine waiting five years to hear “mama”… and the first time you hear it, it comes from a tablet.

It doesn’t make it less real. If anything — it makes it more profound.

Technology as Freedom — and as a Barrier

Ela believes technology can liberate people who cannot speak:

“Technology gives you freedom. Without it, you cannot make choices.”

Eye-tracking devices, symbol-based systems, and synthetic voices can completely transform someone’s life.

But we are far from where we should be:

• Most AAC tools in Poland are imported from abroad.

• AI models today do not understand symbol-based languages at all.

• And current chat-based interfaces overwhelm many neurodivergent users.

One sentence from Ela captures this perfectly:

“AI is not accessible for people who don’t speak.”

Not yet.

The Quiet Miracle of Real Inclusion

We talked about inclusion in schools — not on paper, but in real life.

In some classrooms in Poland, children who don’t speak walk around with tablets strapped to their sides. In others, kids learn to talk to each other using both speech and symbols.A speaking child points to pictures on a friend’s device; a non-speaking child responds with gestures or icons.

In true inclusion, communication flows both ways.

It’s not about “fixing” the child. It’s about creating a shared language.

What This Conversation Taught Me

I walked into this interview thinking we would talk about technology — eye-tracking, AAC systems, AI.

We did.

But that wasn’t the heart of the episode.

The heart was empathy.

A reminder that communication is not just words. It’s time. Presence. Patience.

Ela told me she once had to learn to wait 12 seconds for a response from a non-speaking adult. Twelve seconds of silence.

In our fast world, that feels like an eternity.But in those twelve seconds, entire worlds open.

Why You Should Listen to the Full Conversation

If you’re a parent — this episode will stay with you.If you work in education — this will change how you see your students.If you build technology — this will challenge what “accessibility” really means. And if you simply want to understand human communication on a deeper level — this will expand your view of what it means to be heard.

🎧 Listen to the full episode → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN_VU2nsoZ4

This is the world we don’t hear. But it’s time we start listening.